10 REASONS WHY MEN ARE COOLER THEN WOMEN

1. Opening a Jar -
You sit there and watch her struggle. She’s stubborn though… she runs it under hot water, taps it on the counter, calls it every name in the book. Then finally, like a beat dog, she lowers her head, slowly walks over to you holding the jar out as if to say, “Please dear God, struggle a little so I don’t feel so bad.” You take a firm grip, twist and pop goes the lid. You hand it back and say with a wink, “You loosened it sweet cheeks!”
2. Having a Scar –
It would be best if you had a long knife cut, or a scar from an old bullet wound. When she sees it for the first time and asks, “awe, honey… ….did that hurt?” “Nah”, Is all you need to say.
3. Tools -
Kinda says it all right there. When the neighbor lady asks if you can fix her shelves cause she doesn’t know how to use the tools. You assess the situation, throw out some technical fixin’ shit terms and strap on the tool belt with suspenders cause the weight of the tools are so heavy. You walk proud with the tools banging against your legs. When all you really needed were three anchors, screws and your 22 volt cordless drill/driver with keyless chuck, 24 position adjustable torgue clutch. But why not have all your tools wrapped around you like batman’s utility belt. Cool…
4. Parallel Parking –
Yes, yes you can. First time, every time. Get out and walk away, without even checking the curb. Yea, cause you know its good.
5. Whiskers –
Nothing says “he’s cool”, like looking like you just don’t give a damn. Girly men, look at you and you can almost see a tear forming in the corner of their eye. Yea, they know they’re whipped. Nancy’s.
6. Winking –
Yea, it’s so cool it turns women into putty, true fact.
7. Duct Tape –
As you walk around your shop. (it’s not a garage for the family mini-van) It’s your shop. Nothing says, “I can fix anything”, like duct tape. Bring it on.
8. Tanks –
You know stuff about them. That alone gives you 16 kick ass cool points.
9. Meat –
Women go to the store. They price the meat. (it can take up to 30 minutes) they pick out a big roast, something that will go good with carrots. Men, you kill your own food. Clean it, cook it… …over an open flame!Its jut meat , you dont care how it look or what its served with or how long it took to prepare.
10. Support groups –
You don’t need them.
BONUS REASON – Men can be ready to go anywhere, at anytime in under two minutes.

In the Begining there was a girl .....

   I blame Disney . I blame Disney for brainwashing me at a young age , leading me to believe that love was some magical fairytale with happy endings. I blame Disney , and Mariah Carey songs ....................( ya know the old school ones before she became a whore and did duets with rappers ) The brainwashing effects made me believe that your first kiss is  passionate and romantic , wind blowing through your hair kind of moment, and that i looked good doing it . I imagined boys passing me love notes in class with a yes or no at the bottom . Or that on the first day of school id meet eyes with the cutest boy in school and we would fall in love and be high school sweethearts .Boy was i fuckin wrong ! My first kiss was sloppy and awkward as hell ! The only notes I ever got in school were the ones the mean kids passed to me making fun of me and calling me names in class. The only High School romances i had were having crappy sex in the back of a car with the guy i was in love with just so he could immediately ignore me after and never talk to me again. Mom would always give me some gay advise like just keep being yourself and you'll have friends and a boyfriend one day . Dad drilled it in my mind that even if a boy said he liked me , it really just meant he wanted to touch my boobs. So........ in other words , screw you Cinderella !!! For making young girls think that even poor white trash like you can find love . Kiss my ass Snow White !! What man do you know that would fall for that damsel in distress game , or better yet come snatch up a girl who's shaking up with seven dudes, hardly realistic. And fuck off Mariah Carey ....................just because .


    As a young child there isn't a whole lot that is real important to us . The only things that matter at such a young age are who your friends are , who you sit with at lunch , who is the best in P.E, smartest in class. Feeling excepted and confidant in yourself . We spend so much of our adolescence in school , that one has to make sure he/she has picked out the right crowd to hang with . Make good with the mean teachers or your whole life will be hell day after day. Its like your school family ,your with them everyday . You don't want to end up on the nobody list . That was the group of kids that went to special ed , got sent to the principles office , the nerds the dorks , that one kid that had crazy bad allergies and a runny nose in the 3rd grade . yuk . My family moved across the country to the NC Mountains just before i turned nine . I was cool at first .We were from LA , i had tan skin and a cool accent . All the pretty popular girls liked me . I even got my first boyfriend he was in the 3rd grade and i was in the second . His name was Tony and he was beautiful . He had blond hair blue eyes and wore black sleeveless mesh t shirts with jeans .So hott !! It was then when i discovered my first real life lesson ,  1) Other girls are evil bitches . One of the girls in my class made up an embarrassing  roomer about me , then stole my boyfriend . Suddenly everything changed. I didn't stand up for myself , i was just heartbroken . Why would she do that ? I thought she was my friend !! I don't understand! Then came third grade, and with it came the reality that the new cool family from Cali was no longer . Now i was the girl who shared a room with her older brother and baby sister. Had no money , hand me down cloths , lost that California tan and since being introduced to biscuits and gravy and southern cooking was starting to get a little chubby. To top it all off i started special ed that year .

    So on went the next several years of my life being made fun of and cast out . I didn't go to a whole lot of sleepovers . Stayed to myself alot , got into trouble a lot . My only friends were other bad kids , all boys of course because i still knew not to ever trust other girls . Now about to hit middle school i learned another lesson in life . 2) Its cool to be bad. Seeing as how the only kids i was friends with were 2 outcast trouble making boys , it brought a lot of attention to me being the only girl in this little gang. So i made more friends . All the cutest most popular boys in school were friends with me . I sat with them everyday at lunch , hung out with them in class. So now that i was in with the cool kids all i had to do was keep using the F word and beat up a kid every once in awhile. Of course all the girls were jealous because i was closer to all the boys then they were. So they started being nice to me and including me in after school activities . I was happy , it was all i ever wanted . Just something simple like being accepted as apposed to being picked on meant the world to me . This boost of confidence and new joy in life was short lived. This was when i discovered my third lesson in life. 3) Even if a boy complains about other girls , and is close best friends with you , it doesn't mean he likes you , it just means he is stupid enough to still want the bitchy  girls instead. This lesson really threw me off . I never have and maybe never will understand this . Till this day i am still plagued by this strange behavior by men . So being a stubborn me , i was out to prove this lesson to be wrong . So i spent the next four years of high school trying to be everything i thought a guy wanted , while still being a bad ass so i could stay cool , oh yes and avoiding being friends with as many girls as i could , because they are of course , evil bitches . Throw in a few years of crappy hoodrat boyfriends and lots of drug use and bad choices, leads you into my 20's and life lesson number four. 4) I can handle anything life has to throw at me . Skipping a whole books worth of sad and disturbing memories , at this point in my life i had been through a lot and seen it all . It was time to calm down . After turning 21 i realized that i wanted a normal life. I wanted a real relationship with someone , i wanted a husband and a family one day . So i calmed down and stopped doing drugs , started to focus on my future. Few months later i got pregnant with my son .

   So skipping a whole lot of events lol here i am 28 now with two little boys ,my oldest 6 , and my baby 4. I'm still crazy and wild at times. i try hard to be a good mother . and i am still obsessed with the thought that one day someone will come along and sweep me off my feet . Silly i know , but if you follow me ill tell you all the adventures and heartbreak that is my life. My own personal happiness was on hold for so long while i focused on my kids . And since I've tried dating again things have been very very interesting .